Being happy and your happiness are two different things altogether. Being happy is only momentary whereas depending on your attitude towards life happiness can be long term. So what is meant by happiness?
Well let’s start off with being happy. When you achieve something you will feel happy but you do not achieve things every moment of your life so you will not always be happy. Whereas if you went through some calamity and came out the other side still living, and you are glad to have gone through that experience then your happiness level will rise.
Happiness is about not just getting through calamity but also appreciating the experience that you went through because it has taught you something about yourself. You will then gain happiness.
Life is not always as straight forward as you would like it to be. Good never comes in pairs and calamity never travels alone. Some may even say it comes in threes. So when you are confronted with these calamities and yet still achieved something that deserves to be appreciated and your happiness will grow.
That is the difference between being happy and your happiness. So until next time stay safe, stay cool and build your happiness now by appreciating all that you have been through, whether it be sad, aggravating, embarrassing or good.
There are times when you have nothing in you life. You feel empty, void of anything good. It is at those times that you should love yourself the most, for there is no one else out there who will.
At the highest point in your life everything goes well. Toning could go wrong and everyone adores you for it. Then little by little things turn against you. It’s small at first and you don’t even notice or give a second thought about it. But after a while things that you did so well before begin to crumble in you hands. Like a well built sand castle it falls apart because there is nothing left to hold it together. Then those whose admired you begin to turn away, they are no longer enamoured by you or what you do. They begin to shun you and you feel like you’re an outcast. No longer their shining light you are the trash they have thrown to the curb.
That is when you should realise that are of no consequence to you. You are nothing to them so they should be nothing to you. The relationships with those people are fleeting at best. Enjoy it but do not linger upon it. Once gone, let them go. The first and foremost should be you own self worth. Do you feel you are doing well and are they really that important to who you are. In the end the relationship you have with yourself is the one that will last forever. So you should treat yourself better that anyone of those around you. Pay the first compliment to yourself then to those around you. Of course to not let it go to your head, narcissism is not what I’m talking about. It is self confidence, self esteem, that you need to build not self love.
I have been very harsh on myself lately and things have not panned out well because of it. Then I achieved something, even though it was a small and insignificant achievement, I just said to myself well done. Boy just those two words can really build motivation inside. When was the last time you payed yourself a compliment? Give it a go and see how it feels.
Until next time Stay Safe, Stay Cool, and make sure to pay yourself a few compliments before then.
I was born in Hong Kong. My mother is Chinese, she was from Shanghai, but moved to Hong Kong to escape The communist rule. She met my father in Hong Kong, who was working there at the time. He was from Australia. Then he moved back to his main office in Sydney so we moved there too. I was three at the time.
My older brother who is ten years my senior was a big influence on me so I still have a lot of knowledge of Hong Kong and it’s culture. It was and sometimes still is a place where East meets West. Hong Kong just like me is of mixed culture. And like me we understand each culture significantly, deeply and love them both with a passion. Yet we can never fit in to either culture. There is bitterness on both sides there is a huge gulf between each that just cannot be crossed at this point in time.
I understand Asian culture, the group based culture, where the individual does things for the good of the group. I understand the western culture of doing well for yourself. Yet by themselves they can never achieve greatness. Groups can do well but will stagnate, they need individual flare to push the group along yet when they do, they are either punished or they forget to pull the group along they become lost. The individual however lacks the power of the group and so can not get too far before they are overwhelmed. In the west they praise the individual but they forget that the group got them there.
I have tried teaching people the amalgamation of the individual with the group but it’s too ingrained into them, that I cannot even make them budge. I just follow along but can never really be a part of there group, or their individuality. I, like Hong Kong, can neither be part of their culture or be one of them.
I can only seek like minded people to try and restore order to this world. China wants to be Emperor of the world. The West is tearing itself apart because of perceived wrongs by others. There only two possibilities that will come from this, we got to war and wipe each other out, or we put our differences on the table and admire them cherish them because it is our differences that make us who we are and the things that are the same is what binds us together.
I come from two cultures born into both love both and cherish the differences that they have to offer and yet I can never be a part of either one. For there is too much bitterness held on each side.
Look at those around you and then take a look at those from a far. What do you really think about them all? If you feel bitter then you must look inside you for why you feel that way, they are not the cause of your failings. If your eyes light up and feel wonder at their differences then you have achieved the first level of enlightenment.
So until next time Stay Safe, Stay Cool and be enlightened and cherish your culture most profoundly.
Once again apologies for missing last weeks DJCyberPhilosophy. I have been through hell and back the last two weeks. Now I work at three different places for my occupation, at those place I work a full three weeks at each before moving on to the next place.
This week and the last two weeks I have been working at my least favourite of places. Why? Well first off there is a person there who thinks she is the boss even though she has no qualifications nor the position of authority there, but those higher ups just turn a blind eye to her way of doing things. And the moral of the whole place is at its lowest no one ca;solve problems because they are never given the chance to as she will try to solve the problem and she wants to look good in front of the clients. (She thinks she is the face of the place.)
Secondly the people I have to work with are so inept at communication that I get stressed out just trying to do what they need me to do. They push me to do things that no one should ever need to do. The only reason they really want me to do it is because they are too lazy to work and they just want a break. Even when the schedule is too tight they will unreasonable push forward with no real time for preparation. I just have to do it on a wing and a prayer.
I know I should stop working you say. But the other two place I work at are just great. The atmosphere is grand the people communicate what they need well before I even get there and then when things go sideways we are able to move things around because the communication is there and because the preparation has already been done moving the schedule around does not affect me all that much.
Then to top it all off while practicing for the festival last week one of the people I work with there told I had made a mistake in my performance, I acknowledged it and then tried to explain why the mistake occurred, but he just kept harping on it. Others around me made mistakes yet nothing only me. He was just getting at me because I was the only one he can “push around” since I am the youngest there. I almost lost it right there and then. I really do not know what to do sometimes.
Here is my solution. On the Friday when I nearly lost it, it was lucky that afterwards some of my other festival friends had a small get together to have drinks and late dinner, it was where I could let loose and tell them how I felt and what really was going on. All the pent up frustrations just poured out and it was a relief to get it out.
You cannot leave things like that inside you must get it out someway and never with anger as that will lead to more trouble than it is worth. Find your true friends and let them hear your side of the story and then if they are truly your friends they will tell you to have a drink and let it go. And not to worry about. It is enough that they listen.
Well until next time stay safe stay cool and let it go.
No matter how hard I try to explain things to my fellow co-workers they just cannot get it through their thick skulls how things should work. I have explained that I will not be doing certain things because I am unable to get all the information to do it properly yet every time I end up at the workplace they seem to want me to do what I cannot do.
All they really want is for me to take over their job so they can have a rest. Even though I am just the assistant in the situation. They think I am the miracle worker and know what to do without any consultation whatsoever. “Hey David please do this.” Or “do you have any good ideas?” And expect an answer right on the spot live I know every detail at the drop of a hat.
They have no communication skills at all. They do not talk to me about anything related to the work matter. They want me to do it with no preparation at all. Yet there is a load of time to come and chat with me and talk with me, yet I sit there on a Monday all day and no one bothers to talk with me. They just come and tell me “Please do this, please do that.”
I cannot change their attitudes, I cannot change their minds. I can only react to them being blind. From now on I will just do what I need to do and that is it. I will not being dong what they want me to do nor give them ideas for what to do. I will only do what I deem necessary for those in need.
It is the only way I can stay sane. I am about half an inch away from having a mental breakdown. I cannot handle this anymore. Yet if I do not there is no help for me. As you see I am and always have been a loner. If you need help I can be there for you.
I can only ask for help when I have become a shell of my former self. Yet I will give it all for those in need. That is how I am.
So until next time Stay Safe, Stay Cool, and do not be afraid to ask for my help if and when you need it.