What makes life liveable? What makes people carry on when faced with immense hardship. Yet some choose not to face it and move on to the undiscovered country? Is it resolve? Is it our brains inability to control the emotions that dwell in us after the tragedy that has befallen us?
To be very honest, I have no idea. I can only say what I have been through and how I have behaved in those situations?
I will tell you a little story, when I was fourteen my father passed away after an aneurism had ruptured. When it happened my family was asleep at the time, and my father was in hospital for some check ups. The phone in my room rang, and I felt dread so I never answered it. Soon the police came and rang the doorbell and told my mom to ring the hospital. It was the hardest moment ever in my life. Too scared to answer the phone knowing that the phone call meant only one thing. The passing of my father.
He was the backbone of my life, someone I looked up too. He was always there with an answer for the questions I had. When passed I had to be the grown up. I had to be the mature one. Which left me with no childhood. I kept holding the emotion in. Then one day out of the blue, I started crying and just could not stop. You see I never cried when my father died. The grieving process took almost ten years. I never grew up. I am still a child inside. I present a mature mask, but inside is still the fourteen year old, the grieving little boy that never could cry.
The only reason I moved on because I had family around me that stood by me that loved me for who I was. So maybe it’s not just the strength of character but those around you that gives you the will to survive and move on in life.
I just have to say I will not give up on anything. You should not either. No the pain will never go away, it just becomes a little more bearable, as time wears on. Dwelling on it will not change things so push through and make sure you have friends that will help you surrounding you.
Stay safe stay cool. And make sure to talk to someone if you are in need of help. You can even talk to me if no one else is around.